daddyfuckedme: wouldn’t it be cool if jellyfish floated around in air instead of water but they didn’t sting you instead they gave you little kisses and rubbed your forehead with their tentacles
nickjonaspls: fefeferi: when u accidentally hurt ur friends feelings and they insist that its fine but u know it isnt
sparklesparklelittletwink: internetfeet: People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here” And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone” #and as they say goodbye they fuck you over
throwitintheflames: mischeviousmeghan: thebetamale: in chinese we dont say “i love you” we say “亂倫是最好的” which means “our love has no comparison.” i think it’s beautiful What if someone tattooed this on themselves because of this post
vriksaserket: vriksaserket: i changed the settings on my moms phone so that when she types my name it changes to ‘my favorite child’ and when she types a swear, it changes it to something more family friendly
foreveralone-lyguy: troix: foreveralone-lyguy: internetexplorers: change the world today by doing a thing How much thing? like 8 thing That’s too much thing
Get through high school. Go to college. Get married. Get a big house in the...– (via buddhas-baby-lotus)
megaman2: megaman2: “mickey mouse it says you want to divorce minnie because she was…… extremely silly?” “no, i said she was fucking goofy” please stop reblogging this i stole this joke from my brother
Reblog this if you're older than Google.
come-come-cardinal: keepcalmandgosurfing: geekyninja1: attend-hogwarts: grrrbarrowman: skarosoul: It scares me that there’s only 1000 reblogs. It scares me that there’s only 3000 reblogs. how old is google? google is 13 today
ambassador-of-anguish: shouldertappingghosts: If I was a famous author I would publish a book with ten different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the fans about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story ended. Then when they figured it out I would ‘come clean’, telling them that I had released eleven alternate...
into-the-snogbox: pingustolemysanity: imagine-your-fav-character: Imagine your favorite character barging into your room this moment, grabbing your hand, and taking you with them into their world Lets be honest though most of us would be dead within a week But it would be a bloody brilliant week
alcohol-food-life: ashlekay: onthesideoftheotters: clockworkcalliope: thefrogman: OH GOD I ANGERED IT WHAT THE FUCK I was not emotionally stable enough for that to happen to me. im so sorry i clicked on you…please….dont freak out….
pearls: pearls: i touched a dick once and it was the scariest thing in my life because it had a really cold head and i don’t know it wasn’t fun sometimes the ‘i’ and ‘u’ shouldn’t be so close on the keyboard
legendariess: Are you a or a
letterstogodptiii: tea-books-and-blankets: yaygocats: discomplete: “i want to wear shorts because it’s hot but i really hate my legs” an autobiography “I want to wear shorts but i didnt shave” the sequel. “I want to wear shorts but I don’t tan and I’d rather not blind you” The trilogy “I want to wear shorts but my huge dick always sticks out” a pop-up book
akanedee: if you ever call me annoying, even if it’s just jokingly, the chances of me ever speaking to you again are slim to none because I’ll be so afraid that every little word or sound that comes out of my mouth will aggravate you and make you cringe and hate my existence